“Becoming One Flesh” – It’s Deeper than Sex

Have you ever heard someone introduce their spouse as their “better half?” What do they mean by this?  Did they give up half of themselves when they got married?  For guys does this mean we give up part of our maleness and give in to romantic movies and a feminine looking bedroom?  What does marriage do to our separate identities?  What does it mean to become “one flesh?”

This week my wife, Hillary is out of town with my daughters in New Mexico spending time with the in-laws.  When we are away from each other, we both feel like part of ourselves is missing.  If we are each one half in the marriage, this would mean that I would fall apart without Hillary. The writer of Genesis says, “For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh” (2:24).  What does it mean to become one flesh? Part of it is becoming one sexually through the physical act, but on a deeper level a married couple become one person.  Does this mean we give up part of ourselves in marriage?

I think that becoming one flesh mirrors the relationship that the Godhead has. God, Jesus and the Holy Spirit are one but yet they are three persons.  In sort of the same way married couples are one but yet two people. As we become one in marriage, I don’t think that this means we have to give up  who we are so that there are two halves.  In our marriage, I think I have become more complete individually as a person.  Through marriage with Hillary, I have learned more about myself and Hillary has brought out parts of myself that I never knew were there.  And she has grown in the same way.  We have discovered ourselves as we have discovered the other person. And yet when we are apart, we definitely feel like something is missing because we are missing the physical oneness of our marriage.

What are your thoughts?  What does “becoming one flesh” in marriage mean to you?  How do we embrace oneness and grow as individuals?


About joelnewton

I am a husband to Hillary, a father to Anna and Norah

Posted on October 6, 2010, in Marriage and tagged , , . Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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